2017 Objective: Be happier. Live more, worry less.
Achieving happiness has been complicated for me in 2016. I was dealing with a lot wouldda, couldda, shouldda with a hearty side of steaming hot FOMO. My main goal for this new year is to let go and start again with a fresh set of eyes and heart full of optimism.
The following is a list of encouraging tips both for myself and anyone else who may need a little help pushing back when times get tough.
If you've watched the movie "Breakfast at Tiffany's" you'll know that Audrey Hepburn's character, Holly Golightly, refers to her struggle with sadness as the "mean reds" as opposed to having the blues. Her depiction is so relatable for so many of us throughout the film that I've chosen to share some snaps and footage of some fitting parts. Enjoy, Babes!
1. Stop avoiding. Be responsible.
I can be a tightly wound person with anxious tendencies that only gets worse as I put things off. And off. ...And off.
Replying to that text as soon as you receive it or completing a project you've been avoiding are just a couple of things you can do to help control the anxiety around it. The more you accomplish, the less you'll worry about later. Gah! It sounds so simple, doesn't it? But sometimes facing the music can be the most difficult part.
2. Self-care.
Your mind, body, and spirit needs nurturing. Take care of it and it will take care of you. Get regular check-ups, nourish your body with good food, movement and hydration. All of life's problems can be solved at the end of a nice big cup of tea, in my world.
Simple things like taking a shower or brushing your teeth can be so difficult to do when you're in the thick of it. I'm going to sound really hippie-ish right now, but water is your friend. Let its mystial healing powers help wash away the ick from the outside in too.
3. Let (the right) people in.
Surround yourself with people you'd like to emulate. Their habits will rub off on you. Mostly, surround yourself with those who make you feel stable and remember that quality trumps quantity. Rekindle old friendships, interact with family more, and connect more with strangers.
Make others feel good.
Today was like any other day. My husband and I went to our local grocery store and as we were walking out of the produce aisle, bananas on one side and packaged organic spinach on the other, I felt someone looking at me. I looked up from my phone and saw a sweet elderly woman with her daughter. She stopped me and said, "you are beautiful." She claimed that she knew what she was talking about because she was a model in LA for many years (haha). She's 80 now and is still beautiful inside and out. About 10 minutes later, after giving me a rundown of her life story––and noticing her embarrassed and slightly irked daughter (I think she felt bad that her mom was possibly holding me up)––I walked away with a smile on my face, a warm heart, and an ego boost (let's be real haha). Most importantly, she gave me the desire to pay it forward by making someone else feel good too. Barbara is her name. I'll never forget sweet Barbara for giving me that gift today.
4. Set goals. Plan ahead.
As I touched on already, some days when the gloom really sets in, it's hard to even get out of bed and showered. Anxiety and depression It's something I've learned to mask over the past few years, and I'm not exactly sure if I'm proud of that. Either way, I'm determined to make 2017 a happier place. The only way I can tackle the "mean reds" is if I set goals, make plans and see them through. Prioritizing daily tasks whether it has to do with work or personal life help tackle the day with more direction. Think smarter, not harder!
Lists are particularly good for me personally and I highly recommend setting one up the night before just in case you wake up in an 'off' headspace. There's something so satisfying about setting forth a plan of expectations and ticking off all of what you've accomplished throughout the day, regardless of how shit you feel. Sometimes we just need to go through the motions of the day, and having this list will not only make it easier for you to know what's next but also make you feel more accomplished by the end. Bad days go away a lot quicker when you feel productive, so if you're also someone who struggles with the "mean reds," give lists a try.
5. Get organized.
Now I'm no psychologist, but there's something about having an organized living space that really makes you feel like you have your shit together and you can conquer the world. You don't have to stress out about where the heck you left your keys or holy crap someone's gonna be here in 5 minutes and this place is a mess...you just live your life and tackle the stuff that truly matters.
Now if only I could find my other black alligator shoe...
Since the New Year kicked off, I've reorganized my kitchen and closets...next up is the dreaded spare room where we literally toss everything that doesn't have a home. Do you have a room like this in your house? Or maybe you have the dreaded chair that has just about everything piled up on it?
I should've taken a page from Holly's life and kept my place bare so I can have a swanky party like this one haha!
6. Say yes/Say no.
Saying "yes" to everyone and everything is a huge problem for me at times and I have an equally as annoying issue with saying "no" too. The teeter-totter of wanting to please those around me while also not wanting to leave my comfort zone is exhausting. I have high hopes for 2017 being my "f*$# it!" year where I get stuff done and venture out of my comfort zone more. Oh, the joy of being an introvert!
7. Sing & dance!
Because I'm an introvert, I can sometimes go a while without contact with the outside world. Being sucked into your own head for too long is way exhausting and sometimesyou just need to dance! *cue in jazz fingers*
Whether you're an inni or outti-vert, belting your favorite 90s boy band song into your hairbrush or dancing alone in your living room will give you the jolt you need to shake off the stale taste 2016 left in your mouth.
8. Go outside.
Some days we'll need a little more comfort with familiar surroundings to help lull the ick, but do try and switch up your surroundings and get some fresh air. It's an easy way to add a little more distraction/excitement/relaxation to your life. Connecting with the earth, whether watering your plants or sitting outside with a good book and a glass of wine, get out there! Taking a deep breath of crisp air and a little vitamin D does the body and mind some good.
Connect with the world around you. Find the beauty in it. See how your beauty all stems from the same place.
9. Learn/Teach
Whether it's from YouTube tutorials, books, or asking a buddy, keep your mind active. If Overthinkers Annonymous were a thing, I'd probably hold office. Learning or teaching something new is sometimes just what we need to get (and give) a boost. Having an exciting new hobby or thing you'd like to learn about not only adds more value to your mental well-being but also helps distract you from yourself! Don't give yourself too much time to overthink things. Instead, find something you're passionate about and find your happy place in it.
10. Take out the trash.
Let go of all the toxicity 2016 introduced and greet this New Year with open arms and less baggage. Sometimes you just have to look back, throw your hands up and say, "it is what it is" and move on.
Get rid of the feelings, ideas, and maybe even the people that are weighing you down. You deserve happiness.
You deserve to get what you want out of life, but you also have to be ready and able to work for it, most importantly, with a plan in hand.
If all else fails, fake it 'till you make it in the mirror with your beverage of choice like this lovely lady in one of my favorite scenes haha.
I must admit that it feels good writing all of this down. I know it'll come in handy when I'm feeling stuck. Breakfast at Tiffany's is my go-to movie when I'm feeling down, lost, or confused. If you've watched this movie, you probably feel similarly :)
I hope you can take bits and pieces from this post improve your quality of life too!
I've approached this topic with a lighter tone, but do not dismiss the severity of it. I want you to have the resources you need in case of an emergency. If you are experiencing a medical emergency, are in danger, or are feeling suicidal, call 911 immediately. Suicide Hotline: 800-784-2433. Immediate Medical Assistance: 911. Crisis Call Center: 800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863.
I love you. Here's to a fantastic 2017 filled with love, joy, health, and lots of happiness!
